One last secret
by LittleMissSunny
Summary: Missing scene of 3.18 because the last scene with Steve and Catherine on the shore was way too short!


_**It's been a while and I'm so sorry that I haven't updated any of my stories, but RL and writers block got in the way and I lost contact with all of my stories. I plan to continue It's never too late, I just need to figure out how. **_

_**Anyways, this is a one shot story for 3.18 and I hope you like it!**_

_**As always thank you Dorian for being my awesome beta reader! **_

* * *

Only God knows for certainty how long she was driving around with no actual destination or goal in mind. When she finally found herself stopped, she had found herself standing on a rocky shore staring into the sunset while the soft ocean breeze played with her dark long hair. It would have been a beautiful scenario if only Steve would be standing here with her. But, and that was one great big BUT, she had really royally screwed up big time. And when it comes to screw ups that involve Steven J. McGarrett, she wasn't one to do it half way. As much as she loved him, and man did she love him, she didn't always think straight where he is concerned. The moment she had given Doris the promise to not to tell Steve about the incident with Mangosta, she knew it was a mistake. Catherine knew that she was one of the fewer than 5 people Steve trusted with his life and she was proud to be in such great company. But if and when he would find out her lie, the secret would come out and it would be curtains for them and he would be gone so fast, it would make your head spin.

_I was right, 150% right, _Catherine thought to herself, and all she could hear was his voice as it loudly still echoed in her head.

The tone he used when he told her to leave his mother's house was NOT the same he used a day later to thank her for going undercover. They had been getting along so well these last six months that she was living on the island and stationed at Naval Ops at Pearl, and she was happily surprised. Even though neither would admit it outloud that they were "a couple", it sure felt like they were one to her and his family at Five-0. Kono and Danny definitely thought of them as a couple, and she liked knowing she wasn't alone in that thinking.

A couple of minutes earlier, he had sounded so worried and she thought that by telling him the truth, she might alleviate some of his worry. Maybe she might get a chance to explain what and why she had done this. For the last couple of days she was holding onto that thought and more importantly, hoping for the chance to do just that. But then, seeing his face, his demeanor at the funeral, she had finally realized that she was just chasing after a dream that wouldn't come true. As she arrived at the cemetery there was no sign of her family from Five-0 so she went to the gravesite on her own. After she had greeted her former team members and the family members of Dana, she found herself a spot to stand on behind the chairs.

Once again she was lost in her thoughts, and then she saw Danny from the corner of her eyes. She turned her head and then her eyes landed on Steve…her Steve, or should she say, her former Steve. But the second her brown eyes reached his gorgeous, sexy, alluring, one of a kind blue ones he turned his head and looked away. They hadn't seen each other in three days and Catherine thought that at least he would look at her, but he didn't. _Stubborn Navy Seal like all the other Seals she knew._ Even during the funeral Catherine turned her head a couple of times to look at him, but he never looked back her way.

How could she not have figured this would be his reaction? She knew how much the truth from her means or rather meant to him all these years. It was the basis of their first meeting,….he came to her to verify some Intel and she had the reputation of being a "No BS" Intelligence officer and he needed that then. But then, he began to realize as did she, that he needed her as a woman more than a naval officer and that's what made what they had so special. She was a woman and he was just a man who loved each other, the way they felt with each other, and the way they made each other feel. She only ever lied to him if she was ordered to by a commanding officer. It was killing her that he was ignoring her, but she stayed strong until the funeral was over. The second the funeral was over, Catherine left the cemetery in a hurry. She couldn't stand the feeling of being ignored by the man she loved plus she wanted to avoid any contact with his friends. Steve probably had already told them how she betrayed him and it was only a matter of time until Danny would give her one of his famous rants.

She decided to go for a drive and knew she would end up at "their place." Where else would she go to think about him….about what she had lost, and for the mother who had abandoned him. Catherine had lost track of time as stood there and thought about the past 8 years. From their first meeting in Coronado to the countless times they didn't made it to dinner, breakfast or lunch to the moment she had to tell him about her promise. If she could she would slap herself numb for giving Doris the damn promise that ruined everything. And why was Catherine so damn honorable and good at keeping promises anyway? Why couldn't she tell Doris she'd keep the promise then give her up to the man she loved? Damn stupid woman. Why was she so naïve to think that he'd understand the terrible choice she had to make? I mean, it was his mother…the same one who had hurt him so much and she was only trying to protect him, why couldn't he see that? For a smart man he can be so dumb sometimes.

_I hope they send me back to the Enterprise….or better yet, I'll put in a request go anywhere but here. My dad would like that, not staying in one place just to please a man. No matter how much she and her mother told him, he still won't believe that she really loves living here and her job, and it's not because Steven J. McGarrett makes his home here!, _she thought to herself. It was good to have this time alone to think, but her thoughts were all jumbled up and bouncing all over the place. She heard her stomach growl and decided to go get something to eat, when saw someone walking up to her from the corner of her eyes. At first she thought it was just someone taking a walk, but as the person got closer she could see it was Steve.

"I'm so sorry…. I should have told you…."

There was so much more she wanted to tell him, but he didn't give her a chance. He silenced her with a kiss; one of those great I love you, I miss you, I want you so much, kisses. After his lips left hers they looked into each other eyes and both of them knew that they would be alright again. He knew how manipulative his mother had become being with the CIA, and that Catherine wouldn't lie to him unless that was the only choice she had. He wanted to tell her that, but he missed not having him in his bed last night, really missed her. Plus he was so worried that she could have died going undercover just because he asked her to. He needed to hold her more than they needed to talk about this…..

Catherine found herself in his arms and once again she realized what she could have lost with her secret. She held tightly on to him as she tried to fight the tears that welled up in her eyes, but she lost that fight. Steve heard her sobbing against his shoulder so he pulled her out of his arms to calm her down. He cupped her face with both of his hands in order to make her look at him.

"Cath…look at me, please." he his voice was soft and he turned her to look straight into his eyes. "Catherine, it's okay. I…" he stopped and took deep breathe. "We are okay, I won't let her choices come between us, and I just won't be hurt by her again."

Catherine looked him straight into the eyes trying to figuring out if he really means the words he's saying. She truly thinks he does.

"Steve, I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I should have told you." Catherine knew that he would try to silence her again so she pulled herself out of his grip and walked a few steps back. "I shouldn't have given her the promise, but the way she had sold me that story…. I just had to give her the damn promise, for you, your happiness, to keep her here and happy." It was clear that she was angry with herself so Steve made a step towards her and tried to reach her only to realize that she had made a step back. "Every day I was with you I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. You seemed so happy with her around you, that I didn't want destroy your family peace. I thought she could handle herself. You have to believe me Steve I did it because I wanted you to be happy and because…." Catherine stopped to take a deep breath and then she looked at him. "Because I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt again."

The second the last word escaped her lips she turned her head to look at the ocean again counting down the seconds until Steve would reply, but he didn't. He looked at her, dumbfounded as his mind tried to process what Catherine had just told him. _She loves me, Doris was right! Now tell her you love her too! _He heard a voice in his head, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. _What a big chicken I am, he thought to himself. I never thought about what the word is for how I feel about her until I knew she could be killed. It is love, but how do I tell her….._

Even when it was only a couple of minutes it was already feeling like an eternity for Catherine so she took her last bit of courage and looked at him again. "I see how it is." Catherine mumbled as she walked past him towards her car. _Good job, Catherine Rollins! _She thought to herself. _Tell the man you love him just so he can reject you….great planning Sister._

She had almost reached her car when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see that it was Steve. "Cath, I…." Steve stopped again when he saw the hope inside of Catherine's eyes. "I love you…" Steve couldn't say more because the second Catherine had heard those three magical words she had pulled him closer to kiss him. It was a kiss full of love and neither of them wanted it to end it. As they both parted for much need air they looked into each other's eyes.

"You have to promise me that you never do that again, Catherine. Never!" Steve told her when he had caught his breath again.

"I promise!" Catherine replied before she leaned in to give him another sweet kiss.


End file.
